hahaha, it’s still ok though i mean we’re obviously having the time of our lives going to maddox, something i never thought i’d do. vivian was playing though and we all had a blast - it was quite amazing actually, east end cunts going to a west end bitches club. weird and fun. bungalow8 afterwards was even better though - still can’t believe the manager doesn’t hate me after what i did, haha.

vice hates me (it’s ok)

i know he knocks you off your feet - you’re so bitter you think he’s sweet - well he’s wrong for you i swear - did you forget to read the script -  there was never a role for him - it was always you and me just me - popular mechanics for broken hearts could help me now - i would never bring you down so down - just because he ‘loves’ you too - he would never take a bullet for you - don’t believe a word he says - he would never cut his heart out for you

it’s weird how guys quite often want to take care of me - i always tell them to piss off, it absolutely disgusts me - ’cause quite frankly i’ve been more or less taking care of myself even since i was born (my stepdad always said ‘it’s fascinating how you’ve turned out so good considering you’ve practically raised yourself’) and i’m no one’s charity case, thank you very fucking much. what’s ironic though is that the only guys i seem to fall for are all completely dysfunctional and for some weird reason i always see the good in the ones everyone else say are fucking arseholes. what’s even funnier is that i seem to hate all people but only the good ones. the bad ones, on the other hand, i see something absolutely amazing in which makes me desperate to be with them. the irish said ‘we’re bonnie and clyde’ and i loved the idea of that. but then he also said ’sandy i can’t be with you, even though i want to, i need someone sweeter, someone cuter’. it broke my heart ’cause i loved him to bits and i’m not sweet, nor cute and unfortunately i can’t change that, not even if i wanted to. the first, and possibly last, thing my mum ever taught me was that ‘all men are bastards and the only thing separating them is the time it takes to show‘ but i actually think i might the bastard. i’m so cruel to all nice boys who want to take care of me, basically because i think they’re rather pathetic. the proper bad ones though, they’re the ones i want to be with. it’s pathetic, self destructive and absolutely horrible. imagine all the good ones i’m missing out on! but to be honest - who gives a fucking shit. if the zsa zsa zsu isn’t there you might as well give it up straight away. maybe it’s a part of growing up, getting the zsa zsa zsu from someone who isn’t gonna end up on the streets/in jail/in rehab. if that is the case, well then i’d like to grow up asap, thank you very much.

(but whatever i mean vivian’s the love of my life anyway so whatever!)

i’m with vivian, james and two norwegian birds afterpartying (karaoke at the joiners was amazing tonight!). the girls made me realise why i decided to leave scandinavia in the first place. or maybe it’s just girls, or people, i can’t stand in general? one of them was being rather rude and james told her so - she got really upset and now she won’t say a word. oh, wait! vivian just put her on his knee. she’s talking to vivian! making progress here. dear god. people. can’t stand them. it’s so rare to meet people that are actually worthwhile. i’m truly blessed to normally be surrounded by people that actually are amazing, people that have something interesting to say. i would definitely not say that i’m one of them but luckily, my friends seem to disagree.

i’m so excited about tomorrow! first of all, anna’s coming back. then we’re going back to my new house (that’s AMAZING and i owe molly about £1.000.000 for making me stay rather sane since she’s the one letting the room to me) to unpack her, and my, bags. then spending some quality time - and gossip, gossip, gossip - before i have my trial at 7pm. finishing at 12/1am and then going straight to bungalow8 to do some serious partying before going back to the suite at st martins lane hotel vivan’s got haha it’s gonna be absolutely amazing! vivian’s playing at maddox tomorrow - i just had a look at the guest list and fuck me, it’s gonna be insane there tomorrow. i’m a bit gutted i’m gonna miss it but then on the other hand i’m truly excited about my trial shift so all is fine and also the best bit is probably gonna be at b8, not to mention the afterparty haha. la vita e bella!

i’m the leader, i’m the leader (HAHA, vivian’s got ‘his gang’ and he keeps saying ‘i’m the leader of the gang wooohooooo’ haha bless him! look at his jaw line though, hah, such a joke)

*going south for a business meeting (hah)
*getting stressed out by all the promoters working with vivian and his night at maddox tomorrow ‘MAKE SURE THEY’RE THERE BEFORE FUCKING 10.30 TOMORROW’ hahahha
*moving houses today, again, into a house where i can actually stay and pay as much/little rent as i can
*preparing for anna’s comeback (20 hours to go! unless she misses her flight, hm)
*trialling tomorrow at a place right next door to catch ‘you’re working your way up the road aren’t you’, haha
*making up with mr jail (smart move, or you know, not)
*getting contacted by some fashion-week-cunt wondering if they can use my shirts for a fashion show
*which reminds me, fashion week is in TWO FUCKING WEEKS, how is this even possible?
*planning my trip to paris (pfw) with molly
*getting my ielts results back - did 80% which is well fucking good considering that i can’t even remember doing the two first parts
*returning the telephone i stole from bungalow8 when i was pissed off my head, i seem to turn into a fucking cleptomaniac as soon as i’m drunk these days. the manager called me and said ‘we’ve got you on cctv st martin’s lane is gonna press charges unless you give it back’ although when i went there the manager was like ‘dude it\’s alright, come down tonight for some drinks!’ hahah